"You can experience orgasm from your ear, your armpit, even from your elbow," says Limor Bandel, a relationship counselor & sexologist and an expert in creating sexual desire and passion in relationships. "You can experience orgasm from any part of the body, even those you wouldn't imagine."
I personally once experienced an orgasm without direct genital stimulation. It happened at a three-day tantra retreat that featured a range of workshops on sexuality, each exploring different levels of experience. Throughout the retreat, the facilitators gradually built the participants' sexual energy.
In the context of these tantra festivals, working with sexual energy is very personal and involves pelvic floor engagement, breathing, and mindful presence. There is no sexual contact between participants. To be clear: this was not an orgy.
The most surprising moment came on the second day. I joined an ecstatic dance workshop held in the main tent, where around a hundred people were dancing. Every few minutes, the DJ instructed us to pause for breathwork and encouraged us to make loud, uninhibited moaning sounds. The result was a powerful, sexually charged energy that filled the space.
At a certain point, I grew tired and walked back to my personal tent. Lying down, I could still hear the moaning, breathing, and rhythmic movement coming from the main tent. Within minutes, my body started to shake; my legs were trembling and tightening, and suddenly I realized: I was having an orgasm.
There was no touching, no clitoral stimulation - just a spontaneous, full-body, energetic orgasm. It was a mind-blowing revelation.
Since then, I’ve had other similar experiences. When I was in a highly aroused state, my partner could touch a non-genital area, and my body would begin to vibrate again.
That's how I learned that it is indeed possible to experience orgasm without direct genital contact. A quick online search confirmed that this is a well-known phenomenon.
“When I’m sexually aroused, I can experience completely different types of orgasms than what we’re usually taught to expect,” Bandel affirms.
“I come from a science background. I studied biology at Bar-Ilan University. However, at 26, I realized there was more to biology than we had been taught. I started exploring tantra because I realized that we have a kind of energy that allows us to experience pleasure and orgasm alone, without a partner.
"These orgasms may not feel like the ones we’re used to. Some are intense and explosive, with full-body vibrations. Others are quiet and calm. Some begin with sensation in the genitals and travel up to the head, reaching what’s known as the Crown Chakra."
"I recall one experience with my beloved partner Felix during a 'hypnotic-erotic' meditation. He brought me to a very high level of sexual arousal using only his voice, while I lay with my eyes closed, breathing deeply, and surrendering to the moment. I had no specific goals or expectations; I simply gave myself over to this deep vocal journey, which he guided me through. “It turned into a powerful hypnotic experience that ended with a long, full-body orgasm and even female ejaculation - all without any clitoral touch or penetration.”
“The same thing happened to me during a BDSM session with a dominant partner,” says Bandel. “It was before I met my current partner, Felix. I had just gotten divorced and told myself, ‘Okay, you’re free now, it’s time to explore new things.’
“So I tried a hardcore session as a submissive masochist, surrendering completely to my master. That’s where I experienced what I call an astral orgasm, an orgasm so intense that it spread through my entire body from the sheer intensity of the pain."
That's crazy. So, what does it take to experience these kinds of full-body orgasms?
“First, if you’re in a relationship, it starts with communication. Open up a conversation about your sexual interests. Some people have strong aversions to certain body parts, like feet. So, if you’re hoping to explore orgasmic pleasure through foot play and your partner finds feet off-putting, it won’t work. You need to ask how your partner feels about each body part you're curious about.
“Since orgasm happens first in the brain, it’s possible to train the brain to associate any part of the body with pleasure. The goal is to establish a connection between the brain and the body part, wiring it so that the brain understands this area can be a source of pleasure.
“For example, during masturbation, as I begin to reach orgasm, I can touch my breast, my nipples, my mouth, my elbows, or my feet, and start to redirect the pleasure there.”
She offers a vivid example from partnered sex: “If I’m having an orgasm during penetration, and my leg is resting on my partner's shoulders, he might grab my toe and start sucking on it while I’m in the middle of climax. That intensifies the orgasm. But it takes training. You won’t create that brain-body link with just one try. It takes repeated practice."
I know that in tantric massage, practitioners often move energy from the genitals to the heart, physically guiding it upward with their hands.
“Exactly,” she replies. “When a man associates his penis with his heart, and when a woman connects her vulva to her heart, that’s when a full-body orgasm becomes possible, when the heart is fully open.
"That’s why the most powerful sexual experiences often involve emotional vulnerability. Like when a man says, ‘Listen, I can’t get hard right now because I’m very nervous or overwhelmed'."
“In that moment, he has linked his penis to his heart. And then, once he relaxes and his heart is in it, suddenly, boom, major erections occur. It’s because he brought vulnerability into the bedroom. The same goes for women who struggle to reach orgasm. When they express their vulnerability, the heart opens, and with it, the body follows.”
What’s the most common non-genital orgasm?
“Without a doubt - nipple orgasms,” Bandel says. “I strongly encourage women to learn how to massage their own breasts and begin exploring. And men can enjoy nipple orgasms too.
“The technique is to massage the breast from the outer edge toward the center, stimulating the nipples, and figuring out what feels best - strong or soft pressure? Fast or slow?
“I also recommend dedicating an entire couple’s session just to breast pleasure, and agree in advance that there won’t be any penetration. That removes expectations and allows the woman to relax and fully enjoy the experience. It gives the breasts the attention they deserve.
“By the way, it’s also possible to experience orgasm while giving oral sex to your partner, simply from the sensation of having their genitals in your mouth. As you’re pleasuring him, notice what feels pleasurable for you in that contact."
"In the end, she says, the real benefit of these non-genital orgasms is that they allow people of all genders to break free from the pressure to ‘perform’ with their genitals.
Once you rewire your brain to associate other parts of your body with sexual pleasure, stimulating those areas, especially when your arousal is already high, can lead you to the orgasm you wish for."