“The first time I opened the banking app after my divorce, my hand was shaking. The screen opened, the numbers appeared, and I did not understand what I was looking at. I did not know what was coming in, what was going out, what was mine and what was no longer mine. A few minutes later, the bank called. Then came a message that a card had been blocked. In that moment, I understood something deeply unsettling: I did not really know what my financial situation was.”
Many women raise children, manage households, make major decisions and carry enormous responsibility, but are not always involved in managing the bank account, loans, credit cards or family budget.
The goal: helping women regain control over her financial assets
(Photo: Shutterstock)
Then comes the day after divorce, and suddenly they are required to face an entire world of terms, numbers and decisions alone. It may look intimidating, but it can be learned.
If this sounds familiar, it is important to know that financial independence does not depend on how much money you have. It begins with knowing what is happening with your money.
Step one: Understand where you stand
Before making any plan, you need to look reality in the eye. Start by checking three things: What is your current balance? What fixed income do you have? What are your fixed obligations?
Obligations are not only large loans. They also include standing orders, credit card payments, subscriptions, insurance policies and services that renew automatically.
At this stage, the goal is not to fix everything at once, but simply to understand the full picture. Your bank account is not there to judge you. It reflects the facts. Once you are willing to look at those facts clearly, you can begin to take back control.
Step two: Separate the past from the present
After a divorce, emotions are not the only thing that may remain tangled. Money can, too. Check whether joint accounts still exist. Are there shared credit cards? Does anyone still have signing rights or access to the account? Are standing orders or obligations still being paid from a joint account?
This separation may be technical, but it is also symbolic. It marks the transition to independent financial responsibility and the beginning of a new chapter.
Step three: Build a simple budget
Many women are put off by the word “budget.” It sounds complicated, restrictive and even stressful. But a good budget is not a complex spreadsheet, but a road map.
Start with only three categories: housing, including rent or mortgage, municipal taxes and bills; living expenses, including food, transportation, health care and children’s expenses; and obligations, including loans, fixed payments, alimony or child support and debts.
Simplicity is not a compromise. It is the way to begin without feeling overwhelmed.
Step four: Build small habits
Financial control is not created in one day. It is built through small habits: checking the account once a week, setting a fixed day for bills, writing down unusual expenses and checking how much is left until the end of the month.
These actions take only a few minutes, but they create a meaningful sense of security. The goal is not to be busy with money all the time. It is to stop being afraid of it.
Step five: Don't handle it alone
Financial management is an acquired skill. Help can come from a financial adviser, a social worker, a social organization, a good friend or a family member you trust.
Many women feel embarrassed to ask questions such as: What is a credit limit? How do I check a loan? What is a recurring charge? How do I cancel authorization for a payment?
But the simple questions are precisely the ones that build knowledge, and knowledge creates confidence. Money is much more than numbers, income and expenses. It is connected to security, independence, choice and the ability to hold your life in your own hands.
After a divorce, many women find that the deepest fear is not the overdraft itself, but whether they will be able to manage on their own. Confidence is rebuilt gradually, through one small action, one question asked and one decision no longer postponed.
Financial independence does not start with large sums. It starts the moment you stop looking away and choose to look clearly at what is there. Once you do, you have already begun taking back control of your life.
Five things you can do this week
- Do not let expenses hide. Go over your credit card and bank statements and check which payments are being charged regularly. Small expenses can add up to a significant amount.
- Check the account even when it feels stressful. Avoidance does not make problems disappear. It only increases uncertainty. Set aside a few minutes each week to check your situation.
- Start with one task. You do not need to solve everything at once. Check your balance, review one loan or cancel one unnecessary subscription. Every small step is progress.
- Organize your documents: Divorce agreements, bank documents, pay slips, insurance policies and benefits or allowances should all be kept in an orderly, accessible place.
- Find someone to consult: a friend, a professional or someone who can accompany you through the process, someone you can ask without fear and without shame.
Good luck.
Loulou Balaus is a program manager in the Arab community in northern Israel at Ruach Nashit (Women’s Spirit), a non-profit dedicated to helping women victims of violence and abuse.