“On the day I was supposed to move in with my ex, she left me. I came home excited, carrying a new sign for the door with both our names on it and a huge bouquet. I thought she would be happy and jump into my arms, but I got the coldest reception in the world. She was sitting at the computer, said she was in the middle of work and then went home.
“Later, she called and admitted she didn’t feel what she wanted to feel. It destroyed me because I thought she was going to be my wife. I had put every good part of myself on the table, my whole heart. I went through a very difficult period. It hurt my self-confidence and made me avoid relationships, but I healed and grew stronger. I may not be the most handsome or the most talented, but one thing I know for sure: I am a good, devoted, loyal and committed partner,” declares Barel Adam, 30, of Tel Aviv.
Adam dreams of a home, a family and children. His basic premise is that “giving up isn’t an option; you fight for a relationship because marriage is a lifelong vow.” What moves him most is life itself, and he sees doing good for others as his life’s mission. He has been hardworking and independent from a very young age. He loves travel, good food, music and culture, and he is an amateur athlete and marathon runner.
Adam is also a successful entrepreneur and the owner of an event production company, but he admits his field poses its own challenges when it comes to finding love. “Women can see me as a nightlife guy, and most of them don’t want that lifestyle. It’s a valid concern, given that my work puts me in contact with many women and I’m fairly well known in my field. But I’ve always made sure my partner feels she’s the only woman in my world. I can be in a room full of women, and she’s the only one who matters to me.
“In practice, I’m more of an entrepreneur. I wake up every day at 6 a.m. and keep a routine of sports, work from 9 to 7, and home. On Thursdays, I may get home later because of weekend events, but at this point in my life, nothing would make me happier than sharing those events with my partner. I’ve matured, and so has the work I create.”
Do you meet women through work?
“Yes, but I don’t feel I can build the kind of relationship I’m looking for through the events I produce. Most women my age are already married, and I don’t want to risk approaching someone who isn’t available. It’s disrespectful. Also, I meet so many women and have to divide my attention. I don’t know who to prioritize and get to know more deeply, and eventually, I end up talking to different women without deepening the conversation, and it fades away.
“As you get older and go through more relationships, after everything you’ve experienced and the time you’ve spent waiting, you want to find the exact right one. That makes the search very confusing because you don’t want to make a mistake on the most important decision of your life. I’d love to know right away that she’s the one, but I know that happens less with age and experience. At this point, I’m looking for the spark that makes me want a second date. Even though I come to a first date very curious and open, it’s been a long time since I felt intense emotions or an exciting connection.”
What qualities would a partner need for you to feel that?
“My partner will be someone with a passion for life. She can aspire to be a career woman, a yoga teacher or a mother. It’s important to me that she be optimistic and happy, a good friend with shared interests, someone who knows how to support me and allows me to support her, consults with me and leans on me. I want to be the first person she calls to tell the good and the bad.
“I believe in depth combined with lightness, and I want someone family-oriented, intelligent and social because I love people. More than anything, it’s important that she have kind eyes. In terms of looks, I’ve dated the most beautiful women in the world and women who were less so. I need us to have a good connection, and then she will be the most beautiful woman in my eyes.
“I won’t date someone who shakes my confidence and makes me feel like the ground is constantly moving under my feet. A relationship should be an anchor and a safe place to rest. She needs to be ready for a relationship, family and children. The thought of starting my own family moves me.”
What would you say is your biggest flaw?
“High expectations of myself and too much thinking.”
What is love to you?
“Two people who choose to become one, and a beautiful journey with ups and downs in which you overcome every obstacle together.”
Do you believe in love at first sight?
“I’m a romantic at heart, so I want to say yes. But the older you get, the harder it is to fall in love that way because past experiences make it harder for the heart to open.”
When was the last time your heart was broken?
“A year and a half ago. I believed she would be the one, but she got up and left.”
What have you learned about yourself in relationships?
“I’ve realized I’m a good partner because I genuinely want to succeed, communicate, grow, improve and make my partner happy. I’ve also learned to let go of the need to control everything.”
What matters most in a relationship?
“Communication and friendship.”
What hurts you?
“A lack of appreciation and being taken for granted.”
In your ideal scenario, how do you picture your partner?
“She is my partner in everything. I wake up a little before her and enjoy watching her wake up. While she brushes her teeth, I wait for her on the balcony with the coffee we like and pleasant morning music. During the day, we talk and recharge each other, and at the end of the day, we are excited and waiting to see each other.”
Do you have any deal breakers?
“Someone who doesn’t like people.”
Smoking?
“She should do what’s good for her.”
What age range are you looking for?
“24 to 30.”
Would you consider dating a divorced woman, or a divorced woman with children?
“A divorced woman without children.”
What was your worst date?
“I picked up a woman who lived in Netanya for a date. It was winter and raining, so I found myself sitting with her in a burger restaurant while we both drank wine, with lots of families around us. The atmosphere was strange. I swore I would never go on dates in Netanya again.”
Describe the perfect date.
“There is excitement and anticipation before the date. I pick her up exactly on time and choose a place she likes and feels comfortable in. There is a feeling that all that matters now is her and me, and everything else is just background. There is a connection happening in real time.”
Should a man pay on a first date?
“I’m an old-school man, so for me it's obvious. It’s also part of the fun of inviting a woman on a date and paying for her. There is no chance I won’t pay on a first date, and I’ll probably pay on the second and third dates too.”
What do you do in your free time?
“Sports, running, exploring and learning through books, music, hosting friends at home, dancing, a good movie, an interesting lecture, trips or simply a glass of wine at the end of the day.”
What is your favorite place, and why?
“The sea. It has quiet and presence, simplicity, a release of control, and it’s my regular running route.”
What makes you laugh?
“Sharp humor, or a stupid video.”
When was the last time you cried, and why?
“I’m not someone who cries a lot, but in recent months I went through a complicated family situation, and after about two months I just broke down. A lot of pain surfaced.”
How close are you to your family?
“I would do anything for them, and I’m insanely grateful for my parents. I want to make them happy and proud.”
What were you in a previous life?
“A leader and an influencer.”
The last series you binge-watched?
“‘The Blacklist.’”
What music do you listen to?
“Everything: Frank Ocean on one hand, and on the other, Shlomo Artzi, Mosh Ben Ari, Drake, Omer Adam and Osher Cohen.”
Tell me something no one knows about you.
“I go through plenty of tough moments, but I wake up in the morning like a samurai with a sword between my teeth and ready to fight.”
How would your friends describe you?
“They would say I'm the best friend there is, someone who is incredibly fun to be around and someone who will succeed at anything he wants to do.”
What do you do on Shabbat nights?
“Friday is home, Kiddush, Shabbat dinner with the family and rest.”
Where do you see yourself in 10 years?
“With a wife who is my queen, three children who are the greatest gift, and a warm, happy, welcoming home. Career-wise, I’ll be one of the most significant people in the world of experiences, culture, production and content in Israel.”
So where can women approach you?
“At my events, on the promenade, on social media. Just send me a message on Instagram. I appreciate being straightforward.”