We must not call this sex, or even violent sex; it is, first and foremost, violence that manifests (also) as severe sexual abuse. On Wednesday, January 21, 2026, the Lod District Court convicted Uri Alfi as part of a plea bargain. Alfi admitted to contacting men on social media while impersonating a woman, manipulating them into sexually abusing their own children to satisfy "her."
The official statement released by the State Attorney’s Office reads: "Alfi contacted approximately 25 men, primarily fathers, on social media using fictitious accounts and false identities, posing as a woman, and engaged in sexual dialogue with them... During these interactions, he instructed them to sexually abuse their minor children—including toddlers and infants—to perform horrific sexual acts upon them, and to film and send him the documentation."
It is difficult to digest this news, yet it is crucial that we do. For the moment, I am setting aside the young man whose soul is a concoction of cruelty and madness, and turning my attention to the fathers. According to the official report, Alfi asked twenty-five men to sexually abuse their children. Press reports indicate that four fathers who cooperated have already been indicted for abusing their children.
The horror of the 'optimistic' scenario
Let’s assume we discover that this is the final count, and that out of 25 fathers, "only" four agreed to sexually abuse their children to satisfy a stranger who would, in return, satisfy them. This implies that one in every six fathers (6.25, to be exact) would agree to harm his son or daughter without a gun pointed at his head, simply because the "candy" of sexual gratification is dangled before his eyes. Various reports state that these atrocities were committed by ordinary fathers, none of whom had a prior record of sexual abuse.
Facing the truth
Against our will, we have been forced to witness a social experiment whose results must alter our understanding of ourselves and of humanity. Alfi’s cruel "experiment" evokes associations with the Milgram experiment ("the electric shock experiment") conducted in the 1960s, which examined the "banality of evil." The results of that experiment showed that 65% of random subjects agreed to administer lethal electric shocks to strangers simply because they were ordered to do so. Yet this time, there is no experiment and there are no actors.
We can cluck our tongues in disapproval, we are supposed to be shocked, but above all, we are supposed to understand that human beings are creatures with a very fragile backbone. If we desire a rectified society, we must construct our education and community institutions accordingly.
Sexual violence - truth shall spring out of the earth
In August 2022, with extraordinary courage, Nechama Teana stood up—a solitary woman, anonymous until that day—and claimed she had been sexually assaulted by Rabbi Tau, the most powerful and important rabbi in the Haredi-Nationalist (Hardal) stream, who holds significant sway over Israel's political agenda. Upon the publication of Nechama’s post, I voiced my support for her on this platform. I had no doubt in my heart that she was speaking the truth, that she was paying unbearable prices, and that she must be supported. Additional complaints against Tau were subsequently filed by Dorit Lang, Rafi Polak, and at least one other anonymous accuser. The police investigated, yet the State Attorney’s Office is dragging its feet regarding the right decision.
Concurrently, testimonies have emerged regarding ritual sexual abuse that has taken place—and is taking place—within the National-Religious community (and not only there). This week, with great courage, Rabbi Yaakov Medan, head of Yeshivat Har Etzion, joined the struggle, declaring that based on testimonies reaching him, ritual sexual abuse is indeed occurring within the National-Religious sector. There is no count for the years of suffering, the lives ruined, and the effort required to reach this moment, and the road ahead is still long.
In the merit of righteous women
The vast, murky waves crashing over the world in recent years are a backlash against feminism and the liberation movements that followed it (primarily the LGBTQ+ liberation movements). Thousands of years of patriarchal rule are coming to an end, and this upheaval is met with severe violence. The exposure of ritual sexual abuse is made possible thanks to women and men who stood up—each and every one of them—exposed before the community, willing to pay unimaginable prices. Rabbi Medan’s decision to join the struggle against ritual abuse this week marks a significant milestone.
Less modesty, more courage
And now, when it is clear beyond any doubt that sexual violence is so prevalent and the human backbone so fragile, we must decide how to ensure the resilience of the community and how to reduce sexual violence. If there is one tool that has proven ineffective, it is the tool of "modesty" (tzniut). For thousands of years, the community has walked the cruel path of concealing women's bodies and confining them to domestic tasks, and here we are.
What does help? Feminism, providing safety nets, trust, and solidarity with complainants. Those repairing the community are the women breaking through the frameworks of modesty and silencing marked out for them by community leaders (the offenders and their enablers). To have a healthy community, we must educate for resilience, courage, and standing up against authority. We must ensure two things: a community that constantly cleanses and critiques itself, thus not testing its weakest links; and simultaneously, strengthening ourselves through education for social criticism and resistance.
Lies are commonplace
A charming legend in Tractate Shabbat is devoted to childish word plays that hold meaning for adults as well. The legend discusses the meaning of the letter shapes (in the square Hebrew script), and towards the end, it deals with three of the last four letters of the alphabet: Qof (ק), Resh (ר), and Shin (ש).
(Babylonian Talmud, Tractate Shabbat 104a): "Shin stands for Sheker (Lie), Tav for Emet (Truth). What is the reason the letters of SheKeR are close to one another, while the letters of EMeT are far apart? Because lies are commonplace, while truth is rare. And what is the reason that falsehood stands on one leg, while the letters of truth stand on brick-like bases? Because truth stands firm, while falsehood does not stand."
These distinctions between falsehood and truth are charming, even if not always convincing. The first and simplest difference is that the letters of the lie (SheKeR) are clustered together, whereas the letters of EMeT are scattered throughout the alphabet. From the spacing of the letters, the legend deduces that lies are common and truth is rare. Why? It is unclear; perhaps because the letters of falsehood are grouped, the lie is easy to spot, whereas the letters of truth must be sought out and gathered.
The second claim is that falsehood stands on one leg, since the long leg of the letter Qof (ק) disrupts its stability. In contrast, truth is stable; the Aleph (א) has two legs, the Mem (מ) has a flat base, and the Tav (ת) also has two legs.
Patriarchy, like any society that glorifies a portion of humanity while oppressing the rest, is built on a lie. Its weight is concentrated in one area, and therefore it is destined to lose its balance. It has taken thousands of years, but it is happening now: the patriarchal Tower of Pisa is collapsing. We are exposing the truth and coping with the tsunami it generates.
Ruhama Weiss Photo: Avivit Bin NunAnd here are the truths that have been revealed (once again) in recent days: A. Incest is a very common act. Furthermore, it is easy to convince fathers to sexually abuse their children. B. A society that educates for obedience will also suffer from obedience to evil, for obedience is obedience. C. Education for female modesty is education for male control. The curtain of modesty conceals acts of horror, and we must not give in to the lie of modesty.
Until the last injustice
It is moving to end a column without the phrase "until the last hostage." How good it is that Ran Gvili has been restored to his family and to our land. However, the work of repair (Tikkun) is only in its infancy. We must wear a multitude of ribbons in a multitude of colors until communal injustices come to an end. Until the last injustice.