During weeks of air raid sirens and countless public safety announcements urging Israelis to take cover during Iranian missile attacks, one particular group seemed oddly resistant: dads.
Law student Or Refaeli, 22, posted a TikTok video at 3 a.m. after yet another missile attack—and another moment of defiance from her father, Amos. “Why is it that dads never go to the bomb shelter?” she asked in the clip. The video quickly racked up over half a million views, with thousands of comments echoing the same sentiment: our dads do the same thing.
“I recently moved to Petah Tikva with my boyfriend, who’s now in reserve duty, and since I don’t have a shelter of my own, I’ve been staying with my dad,” Refaeli told Ynet. “When the sirens go off and we’re all racing to the shelter four floors down, he just sits by the window watching the interceptions. I yell at him, ‘Dad, I’m getting married in August — I don’t want to walk down the aisle with a balloon that says “Dad” on it!’ But he doesn’t care. I told him, ‘You’d rather watch fireworks than see me? I want a healthy, living father,’ and still, he takes his time.”
Why does she think he won’t go?
“It’s a mix of curiosity, denial and complacency. He’s 50 and has lived through so many wars that it just doesn’t hit him the same way. He thinks he can survive anything. Only now, after a missile landed not far from our building, is he starting to realize it’s serious.”
She describes the moment the message finally sank in: “He was sitting by the window again, and the blast wave from a nearby strike actually shifted the window toward him, like someone pushed it. He just said ‘Whoa!’ and then ran to the shelter.”
And his reaction to her viral video?
“He thought it was hilarious. He said, ‘Why are you throwing me under the bus?’”
The ‘it’s just fireworks’ mindset
Judging by the comments on Refaeli’s video — and dozens of similar ones — many fathers across Israel seem to treat air raid sirens like an invitation to a light show. One user wrote, “My dad stands outside with his friends, analyzing the interceptions.” Another: “He told me to come to the window and watch the missiles like it’s a fireworks display.” A third said her dad actually filmed the barrage and proudly showed it to the family afterward.
Others describe their fathers taking their time during alerts — stopping for a snack, checking their phones, wandering out to the balcony — only heading for cover once the danger has passed.
Shaked Avraham, 23, from Kiryat Motzkin, also posted a TikTok video about her dad.
“At every siren, the rest of us are running to the shelter — me, my mom, my two sisters — and my dad, Ofer, acts like nothing’s happening. He goes to the bathroom, opens the fridge and steps out to the balcony. We shout at him every time, and he always says, ‘Relax, it’s not here, we’ve got time.’ If he does enter the shelter, it’s for maybe two minutes before he complains he can’t breathe and walks out. He thinks he’s made of concrete — maybe all dads think that.”
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Another user joked, “Told my dad that if anything happens to him, I’m putting ‘Died of irresponsibility’ on his headstone.” Others posted: “Every time there’s a siren, my dad’s in the bathroom,” and “There’s a siren and my dad’s like, ‘Who wants watermelon?’”
And what do these fathers tell their anxious kids? Most offer variations on: “The odds of getting hit are tiny,” or “I was in the army, this doesn’t scare me.”
Iranian missiles intercepted over Haifa Bay area
(Video: Udi Buch, Nir Bar)
One father even commented on Refaeli’s video to share his reasoning: “It’s an age thing. Confidence. Risk assessment. I think the chance of getting hit is extremely low. I feel better protecting my family from outside the shelter while they’re inside.”
The psychology behind it
So why are some fathers so reluctant to seek cover? “It’s often tied to older cultural norms,” says Hila Harel-Dolev, a clinical social worker and trauma therapist. “Men from a certain generation still believe they have to be fearless, stoic, emotionally detached — the classic masculine role model.”
According to her, younger men today are more likely to take shelter seriously because they don’t equate caution with weakness.
“Older men often see fear as a flaw, as unmanly. But younger generations understand that protecting yourself isn’t shameful — it’s essential.”
How to convince them
Harel-Dolev says that encouraging safety-minded behavior requires a mix of emotional appeal and practical responsibility.
“There are two ways to approach it,” she explains. “First, speak to their hearts. Remind them they have children, grandchildren — people who need them. Second, speak to their sense of duty. Put them in charge of the shelter — checking supplies, making sure the space is ready, helping others get in during alerts. When you give them a clear role, they feel committed.”
In other words, turn their protector instinct into something proactive and safe.