Now that the flags have been removed from the top of Mount Herzl, the loudspeakers dismantled and the chairs stacked away until the next memorial ceremony, we should look squarely in the eyes of the bereaved parents and tell them truthfully: The "private" memorial ceremonies commemorating each war individually are absolutely unnecessary.
Ahead of the national Memorial Day and 60th year of independence a few months from now, bereaved families should consider ending them.
And why is this only of concern to the bereaved families' and the Yad Lebanim organization? Because it has long been ascertained that a separate memorial ceremony for the fallen of every war would not be deemed a state ceremony, but rather, it would be organized by the Yad Lebanim organization.
Several branches of this sad and painful institution have already decided not to conduct such ceremonies. Incidentally, and this is absolutely true as stated by Prime Minister Ehud Olmert's office,the appearance of cabinet ministers and rabbis at these ceremonies is optional, yet a head of state has yet to refuse the request of bereaved parents.
Memorial ceremonies for every separate war (the Sinai Campaign, the Six Day War and others) originated immediately after the Yom Kippur War. The death toll of that terrible war reached 2,569 and soldiers were buried in makeshift cemeteries and transferred to permanent resting places several months later.
These memorial ceremonies lasted for almost an entire year, and for the first time in Israel's historyall the sacred laws pertaining to funeral regulations - that had persevered for almost 25 years - were shattered. They included the agreement not to perform gun salutes if the family opposed it, and that such a funeral would be considered a "civilian" funeral in a military cemetery.
And then, in the wake of the Yom Kippur War, the custom of holding "private" memorial ceremonies began. Behind these ceremonies stood a political idea: To find more and more opportunities to attack Moshe Dayan, who served as defense minister at the time and refused to step down after the failure of the war. A private "ceremony" was another opportunity to yell at and humiliate Dayan.
How do I know this? It's very simple; I was privy to these "private" ceremony organizations with the bereaved families. Since I did not ask for permission to reveal the names of these organizers except for one, I will reveal his identity only. My good friend Yossef "Yoske" Loutenburg, whose son was missing in action for months until his body was found and laid to rest.
Slamming Sharon
These memorial ceremonies were phased out over the years, primarily at the initiative of the bereaved families. Fewer and fewer families attended the ceremonies.
Heads of state kept away, and it occurred to the families that the multitude of "private" ceremonies detracted from the national significance of the main Memorial Day - the one and only day dedicated to Israel's fallen soldiers held on the eve of Independence Day.
Even then, families complained that they were forced to move from one ceremony to another: Elementary schools, high schools, youth movements, IDF, army corps, military units and civilian workplaces.
To make matters worse, when families fail to attend these ceremonies, it is whispered behind their backs that they "have forgotten." Other bereaved families began complaining that they were being discriminated against.
Why shouldn't the defense establishment conduct "private" ceremonies for the fallen in various anti-terror operations as well? Why are not all fallen soldiers considered equal and deserving of a separate and state-held memorial ceremony?
And then, a terrible tragedy occurred, the first Lebanon War broke out. The wave of private memorial ceremonies was renewed and even expanded. Why? Because once again these services served as an opportunity to slam the then defense minister Ariel Sharon, to call him names, to demand his resignation and to settle scores with him.
How do I know this? Again, unfortunately I was privy to this information (and I would be willing to testify to this in any official forum.) Subsequently, because of political interests regardless of any particular party, the memorial ceremonies turned into a serious problem.
Since that first war in Lebanon, memorial ceremonies died out once again. The numbers of those who attended the ceremonies dwindled to embarrassing levels. Several of the Yad Lebanim branches "understood the hint" and cancelled the "private" ceremonies. It was assumed that within a year or two this phenomenon would fizzle out.