About two months before my 30th birthday I had a slight attack of depression. In retrospect, almost a year later, I can say that the minor attack of depression - something unusual for me - was not only because of the age, but also because of the idea behind it.
Shortly before that I'd split up with a girlfriend I really loved and with whom I saw a real future, and if that wasn’t enough, we continued to work in the same place and to get together from time to time.
It was a very pressured time at work, and when one of my colleagues left, I was left to do battle alone with a large piles of files that had to be dealt with. The bank also thought this would be an opportune moment to remind me that I was earning less than what I'd like to think.
So it would be accurate to say that at that time I felt like a boxer who took a crushing blow, who managed to get up when the judge got to the count of eight, but who immediately took another blow that knocked him to the floor until the next count of eight.
As the days go by
And then November came, which signified December, which symbolized January, which symbolized the beginning of the year, and that - and the logic is self-explanatory, I think - signified February 2006, when my 30th birthday would take place.
Birthdays, especially those that end in a zero, are always a time for soul searching. Soul searching makes us think, and you have to admit that nothing good has ever come of that. But now, nearly a year later, when 31 is just around the corner, I have the following to report: Being 30 - or so it seems from where I’m standing - is the new 20.
Because at 30, those of us who’ve managed to stay unmarried - and let’s suppose for a moment that this success is the result of choice - are actually having it both ways: We can go out to have a good time in the pub as if we were 20, but it’s also legitimate for us to sit at home with friends, to drink good wine, and to analyze Joyce’s latest book (yeah, I know he hasn’t written a lot lately).
It’s still Okay not to decide
You can get into a committed relationship, but on the other hand you don’t have to start matching the napkins with the dress every time you get into bed with someone. We’re at the beginning of our career, which means that we’re less detached than we were at 20, but it’s still considered legitimate to zigzag a bit and not to decide exactly what we want to do when we grow up.
My best friends remembered suddenly, at 30, that they wanted to study something else entirely, and they did it. We can see what a family and children are like by looking at our married friends, and if we really love kids we can also play with them a bit, but then we can go home and sleep all through the night and not be awakened by a baby’s crying.
And most important, we can still keep looking, but it’s already considered totally legitimate if we’ve found what we’re looking for. In short, 30 today is the age at which you can start to really enjoy being single. The paradox is that it’s kind of difficult to enjoy single life alone.
Evil I., despite his name, is a kind-hearted lawyer who is still looking for his soul mate.