On the morning of October 7, 2023, moments before Hamas launched its deadly attack on Israel, Sergeant Shay Ashram, an IDF lookout at the Nahal Oz base's command center, prepared for her 7:00 a.m. shift. As rocket barrages began, she fled to a nearby shelter, offering to assist her commander in managing the unfolding crisis.
Hours later, terrorists murdered in that shelter after she made farewell calls to her parents, family and friends. Nearly two years later, her father, Dror, visits her grave daily at the Rehovot military cemetery, where a poignant image of him sleeping beside her tombstone stirred widespread attention.
“I come here every day, for almost a year and ten months,” Dror said at Shay's graveside. “People tell me to see a psychologist but this is my therapy. I sit with her, listen to her songs, talk to her. She’s closest to me here. I even nap beside her, hoping she’ll visit my dreams. I’m calmer here, rain or shine.”
Shay enlisted in the IDF in January 2023 and was stationed as an lookout at Nahal Oz. “She loved her role and fought to excel in it,” Dror said. “She performed with professionalism, preventing incidents and protecting Israel.
“Every time she told me about a thwarted attack, I thought of the soldiers or families she saved.” Set to attend a commanders’ course the week after October 7, Shay delayed it to hone her skills further, a decision that kept her at the base during the attack.
After her death, her family discovered videos of Shay singing beautifully. “She loved music and was full of joy,” Dror said, listening daily to her recordings at the cemetery. On October 7, Shay called her parents at 6:33 a.m., worried for their safety as their home lacked a proper shelter.
“She knew something serious was happening, not just a few rockets,” Dror recalled. “She said, ‘I love you, stay safe,’ and told us the base was overrun with terrorists, adding, ‘You’re the best of parents.’ She also called her aunt and close friends to say goodbye.”
Her family learned of her death two days later, though her brother saw her body in Telegram footage on October 7, a detail he kept quiet until the official announcement. In a recording from the day before, Shay's cheerful voice wished combat soldiers a “good morning and wonderful day.”
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“You hear her radiant smile, her beautiful laugh. It warmed my soul,” according to Dror. He described her as always smiling, infectious in her joy and deeply trusted by her comrades for her professionalism in guiding them in volatile zones.
Shortly after Shay's memorial, the family faced another blow: Shay's older sister, Tehila, a mother of eight, was diagnosed with leukemia. Her treatment, costing 60,000 shekels ($15,600) monthly for two years, isn’t covered by public health insurance and lacking private coverage, Tehila faces financial strain.
“I lost my little girl, then my mother six months later—I can’t lose another daughter,” Dror said, pleading at Shay's grave for divine help. He raised funds for six treatments but, after the health fund’s exceptions committee denied coverage, wrote to Health Ministry Director-General Moshe Bar Siman Tov.
Following media coverage, Tehila’s doctor plans to request compassionate care to provide the drugs Vidaza and Venetoclax free of charge. “I lost my youngest, Shay, on October 7,” Dror wrote. “Amid this unbearable loss, we’re clinging to life. Tehila’s leukemia diagnosis shattered us further. We’re a grieving family, fighting to hold on. Tehila needs these drugs but who can afford 60,000 shekels a month?
“The committee’s denial was a mistake, her doctors say so. Beyond medical grounds, our family’s tragedy demands consideration.” Dror noted the director-general’s supportive response, describing him as a dedicated person trying to help.
First published: 07:27, 08.03.25