At a tense Knesset hearing this week, Maj. Gen. Dado Bar Kalifa, head of the IDF’s Manpower Directorate, revealed that career officers are asking to retire early—even in the middle of the ongoing war in Gaza. “People in military career service are calling and asking if they can advance their release,” he warned.
Behind the figures are families who have been living under strain for nearly two years, as war replaced routine. Wives of career soldiers say the toll is unsustainable, and that a lack of recognition and the erosion of pension benefits may drive more officers out of service.
Yael Hibash, 37, from Kfar Adumim, whose husband, a lieutenant colonel, is serving in Gaza, said the exodus is already underway. “These aren’t threats—people are actually leaving. Combat soldiers are asking for desk jobs, others are retiring,” she explained.
A mother of four, she described the weight on families: “After two years of continuous fighting, the exhaustion is crushing. The prolonged distance from family breaks them. They see what their wives and children are paying.”
Though her husband has not considered quitting, she said the strain is real. “We’ve talked about how we’ll survive this as a family. What keeps him going is knowing how critical he is right now—this is their moment. “But it comes with a heavy price. We’ve forgotten what a relationship is. Even when he comes home, his mind stays on the battlefield. My role is to keep supporting him, even when it’s hard.”
To confront the crisis, Hibash co-founded the “Military Career Service Families Forum” shortly after the war began. The group now campaigns for soldiers’ rights and support systems. “If a career officer is preoccupied with his family’s situation, he won’t stay in uniform,” she said.
The forum is particularly worried about the younger generation of military commanders. “Why should a young company commander, who barely sees his wife and child, choose to keep serving?” Hibash asked. “It feels like masochism—giving and giving without recognition.”
Ella Medina, 42, from Pardes Hanna-Karkur, whose husband, Lt. Col. Udi, serves in an IDF personnel unit, echoed the warning. “The kids don’t want a heroic father—they want a father at home,” she said.
On October 7, she and her three children spent 13 hours hiding in a safe room under attack before being rescued, while her husband went out to fight. In the months that followed, he served 15 consecutive weekends, rarely seeing his family.
Now approaching retirement, Udi is expected to report immediately for reserve duty. Ella herself served around 100 days in reserves during the war, leaving their four children—including a baby—at home. “The soldier and his family are one,” she said. “If the family isn’t supported, the soldier can’t serve at his best.”
Both women sharply criticized the Supreme Court’s recent ruling striking down pension supplements for career officers. “To harm those who have given decades of their lives—after two years of the hardest war Israel has ever known—is unthinkable,” Medina said. “This is not only a financial blow but a severe moral one.”
As public debate rages over whether career soldiers are overcompensated, Hibash rejected the criticism outright. “Until the war, no one ever called us freeloaders,” she said. “Now suddenly, after everything we’ve given, that’s how we’re labeled?”
For families like theirs, the concern goes beyond finances. It’s about the future of the IDF itself. “The state must protect its career soldiers,” Medina said. “They keep all of us secure.”