“My ID says ‘divorced,’ but emotionally, it feels as though I was never truly married because my heart was never in it,” says Maayan Marom, 34, from Hadera. “At the wedding, after he broke the glass, I refused to take his hand or let him get close to me. At the time, I was ultra-Orthodox.”
Until six years ago, Marom says, her life was ordinary and predictable. “My fear of leaving my comfort zone held me back until my younger brother was killed in a sudden car accident,” she says. “He was only 21. During the shiva, I realized life can end in an instant and nothing is guaranteed. I asked myself: Had I been living a life I didn’t really want? Had I spent eight years with someone I didn’t truly love? What if I died tomorrow?”
As she grappled with the fragility of life, tragedy struck again. During the week of mourning for her younger brother, her older brother, whom she describes as the family’s father figure, suffered cardiac arrest and died.
Within a single week, Marom lost two brothers, a devastating turning point that pushed her to walk away from her relationship and start over.
“I set out to rebuild my life by choosing only what my heart truly wanted,” she says. “Today, I’m living the life I want and searching for a love that feels true to who I am. I’ve had relationships in recent years, but I was still trying too hard to please others, and it kept me from growing. I need a partner who lifts me up, not one who clips my wings.”
To process the pain and heal from the breakup, Marom took an unusual step. She bought a wedding dress with an especially long train, which she says symbolized the emotional baggage she carried from the past, and wore it everywhere she went for 40 days.
“It was my way of saying publicly that I wasn’t waiting for anyone to rescue me, and that I wasn’t embarrassed to say I was looking for a husband,” she says. “Walking around in a wedding dress with my head held high felt incredibly liberating.”
Where did you go dressed like that?
"On the first day, I wore it to a falafel stand. During the war with Iran, I even entered bomb shelters wearing the dress and carrying a sign that read: 'Still haven’t found my groom'. A lot of men approached me and flirted with me,” she says. “Part of it was about manifesting a new reality, but I also felt beautiful and pure even without a groom. It helped me reconnect with myself.”
Marom is an actress, singer, creator, psychodrama therapist and student coordinator at an acting school. She starts her mornings walking her dog along Hadera's Olga Beach, commutes to Tel Aviv for work and often ends the day watching Netflix.
In her free time, she works on her stage show, “Dying to Live,” inspired by the family tragedy she endured and her desire to make the most of every moment.
What are you looking for in your future husband?
“Emotional resilience, joy for life and, of course, the maturity for long-term love,” she says. “Someone who wants a stable relationship, without constant ups and downs. I dream of a healthy partnership where we enjoy being together but also know how to be happy on our own. I want a man who would choose a beach date over a luxury restaurant, who would be moved by a woman sitting by the sea saying, ‘Modeh Ani,’ and who has some connection to religion, because otherwise he won’t understand the things that move me.”
“It matters to me that he smiles easily, finds joy in his routine and feels good about the life he has built, because true wealth is being happy with what you have,” she says. “I want him to do work that fulfills him. Holding a degree or the career path he chooses matters less to me than his passion for life. Generally, I’m more drawn to younger men. I once dated someone 12 years younger than me.”
Aren’t you worried they may not be ready for marriage and children?
“There’s something very attractive about youthful energy and the way younger men experience life,” she says. “I also love their optimism. I love the courage younger men have, because older men can see a beautiful woman on the street and still not approach her.
“I can also date a man older than me, but he has to keep a youthful spirit and a playful side. I’m always the mature one in my circles, a leader and group facilitator. In my romantic life, I want someone who lets me run through the grass, walk barefoot on the sand, look at the stars and communicate without words.”
So how old should he be?
“Preferably around 30, mature and ready for family life.”
For Marom, love “feels a little like becoming a child again, continuing to grow but with a bigger smile.”
What is love to you?
“A little like becoming a child again, continuing to grow, but with a bigger smile on your face.”
Do you believe in love at first sight?
“Yes. There can be a spark in the eyes that opens the door to great love.”
When was the last time your heart was broken?
“After a meaningful relationship ended because of an age gap and differences in worldview.”
What have you learned about yourself in relationships?
“That I have to stay connected to my own feelings and not fear disagreement or tension.”
What is the most important element in a relationship for you?
"Being able to have conversations about the uncomfortable stuff to build trust and emotional safety.”
What is your biggest flaw?
"I always have to say what’s really on my mind in a relationship.”
What offends you?
“When a man isn’t true to himself. It feels like an insult to my emotional intelligence.”
What does the ideal partner look like?
“I imagine us escaping for an hour during a busy day, stretching out on the grass in the sun, feeling like we’re alone in the world, right in the heart of Tel Aviv.”
Do you have any deal breakers?
“Drug or alcohol abuse, and excessive impulsiveness.”
Smoking?
“In moderation.”
Would you date a divorced man, with or without children?
“Yes, if he still has the desire to fall deeply in love again, and if he’s a good father who pays child support.”
Tell me about the worst date you’ve had.
“I went out with someone who seemed to be trying to please me with everything he said and did, and I just couldn’t believe him.”
Describe your perfect date.
“A beautiful spot surrounded by God’s green and blue scenery, where I can fully be myself without trying to impress anyone, and where I feel like putting my iPhone aside and forgetting to look at the clock.”
Should a man pay on the first date?
“Yes. I appreciate the natural desire to give.”
What do you do in your free time?
“I create content and promote my show, ‘Dying to Live.’”
What is your favorite place and why?
“A lookout point at the Gador Nature Reserve in Hadera's Givat Olga. It quiets a lot of the noise inside me. I love going there with my dog, listening to music, saying a prayer of gratitude and taking deep breaths.”
What makes you laugh?
“Dark humor.”
When was the last time you cried and why?
“Right before Memorial Day. I was choosing songs for a ceremony, and it sent me into a wave of longing for the family members I’ve lost.”
How close are you to your family?
“Very close. When I relocated to New Jersey, I called my family on video so often it was almost ridiculous.”
What do you think you were in a past life?
“A hidden tzadik devoted to Torah study and a deep connection with God.”
What was the last show you binge-watched?
“Prison Break.”
What kind of music do you listen to?
“Everything from Idan Raichel, Eyal Golan to songs by Chava Alberstein and the Hebrew poet Rachel.”
Tell us something no one knows about you.
“I eat pizza with a knife and fork.”
How would your friends describe you?
“Someone with the courage to talk about things other people sweep under the rug.”
How do you spend Shabbat eve?
“Dinner at my mother’s, enjoying time to myself or a spontaneous beach date.”
Where do you see yourself in 10 years?
“With a small family of my own in a green moshav, peace of mind, leading psychodrama groups for bereaved siblings and acting in a series about my life.”
So where can someone hit on you?
“On the street, and also on Instagram or Facebook, but share something that will make me want to respond.”