“My friends all told me: ‘You’re crazy,’” says Yasmin Behar, 25, an Israeli living in the Netherlands, who at first hid the fact that she was Israeli from the Iranian DJ she met by chance in Amsterdam.
A week after the two began dating more than two years ago, the war in Gaza broke out, triggering concern on both sides of the relationship. Now, as the couple finds itself stranded in Thailand after flight cancellations during an international tour, they are trying to organize a solidarity party for Israelis and Iranians.
Behar told ynet that when her family in Israel discovered she was dating an Iranian man, the same question kept coming up.
“How do you know he isn’t a spy?” she recalled being asked. “They were really worried about my safety. They asked: ‘How do you know he’s not connected to the Revolutionary Guards?’”
Two and a half years after their relationship began, she says attitudes have changed.
“Now everyone loves each other,” she said. “But in the beginning it was a bit difficult.”
The suspicions were mirrored on the Iranian side as well.
“The reaction there was very similar,” she said. “They asked him: maybe she’s a spy? Maybe she’s from the Mossad?”
Over time, those concerns also faded.
“Today everything is fine,” she said. “Israelis and Iranians are more similar than people think.”
Hiding her Israeli identity at first
Behar says she initially avoided revealing her background when the two first met.
“I’m half Israeli and half Dutch,” she explained. “I grew up in Israel until I was 22 and I also did national service. My father is Israeli and my mother is Dutch. My father’s family lives in Israel and my mother’s family is in the Netherlands.”
Living in Europe, she said, sometimes led her to downplay her connection to Israel.
“In the Netherlands, I usually avoid telling people that I’m also Israeli,” she said. So when she met the Iranian DJ, she decided not to mention it.
“When we first met he didn’t know anything about my background,” she said with a smile. “I just told him I was Dutch. I didn’t think I would see him again.”
But the first meeting led to a second.
“We actually went on a real date,” she said. “He really interested me, and I told him I was Israeli, even though I was very nervous because I didn’t know how he would react.”
Her friends were skeptical.
“All my friends said: ‘Oh my God, you’re crazy,’” she said.
The reaction from the Iranian DJ, however, was positive.
“Armia said, ‘OK, cool,’” she recalled. “He also told me he has an Israeli DJ friend.”
Discovering similarities between Israelis and Iranians
Like Armia’s family, many Iranian refugees have settled in the Netherlands over the years, most of them opponents of the regime who fled political persecution and restrictions on freedom of expression.
Many have integrated into Dutch society while continuing to publicly oppose the government in Tehran and participate in protests against the Iranian regime.
Armia and his brother perform worldwide as part of the electronic music duo Vessbroz.
Through the relationship, Behar says she has learned something new about the Iranian people.
“I really feel that the Iranian people have values that are very similar to ours,” she said. “They are not like their regime, and they support Israel.”
In the Netherlands, she said, that support is visible.
“We often go to demonstrations by Iranian exiles,” she said. “There are always Israeli flags there and a lot of love.”
A viral post and a new idea
The couple recently traveled to Thailand with their music group as part of an international tour. They had planned to continue performing in the Middle East, but their plans changed after the United Arab Emirates closed its airspace.
“We were supposed to continue to shows in the Middle East,” she said. “But because of the situation, everything was canceled, so we decided to stay in Thailand for now.”
At one point, she reached out online to Israelis in the area.
“I always say the Israeli community is very strong and everyone helps each other,” she said. “I posted it very innocently, and it completely exploded.”
Responses came from all directions, she said, both supportive and critical.
The idea for the party emerged after several Israelis attended a performance the couple had planned in Bangkok.
“At the end of the show, they came and said that now we need to show solidarity,” she said.
“If we’re already here, maybe we can organize a party that connects the communities and the people.”
The message of the event, she said, would be simple: a call for a free Iran and an Israel free from Iranian terrorism.