Chen Pibenev pushes the stroller where her infant son Adam — less than a week old — lies, empties the dishwasher, warms his food. Routine everyday actions for a new parent. But nothing about this situation is ordinary.
Eight months after her partner, police sergeant Igor Pibenev, took his own life, Chen gave birth to their son — a pregnancy she learned about during the shiva mourning period.
Igor, who fought alone and killed 13 terrorists on October 7, had no idea he was about to become a father again. Ynet and Yedioth Ahronoth accompanied Chen from the painful moments of his funeral to the birth of their first son together — after three daughters.
Igor Pibenev died by suicide in May 2025 after struggling with post‑traumatic stress. He was 31. The pregnancy was conceived about two and a half weeks before his death. By the time of the shiva, a pregnancy test Chen took was already positive.
“During the birth, I was totally out of it,” she recalls. “It took me a long time to process the situation. It was shock and disbelief. During the delivery itself I didn’t feel much, but I did feel embraced. There wasn’t even one moment where I felt Igor’s absence. When Adam was born, for a moment I didn’t feel like a widow the way I walked into the hospital.
“In the morning before being admitted, I was sitting in a café. They played the song ‘Returning Home’ — one Igor loved so much. I felt like it was speaking to me. I let myself cry at that moment, and then I let it all go. I walked into the hospital feeling clean.”
Only the next morning did the reality begin to sink in. “Suddenly I realized I was on my own. I was happy that part was behind me, and now the real life begins. The new life, literally. Getting used to the fact that a baby was added to the family. Figuring out how to get all the kids downstairs, how to get into the car. Everything is different. And I have no one to share the tasks with. It’s all on me.”
And then she smiles. “He’s a copy of his father. At first I was afraid he would resemble him — but that feeling faded. He fills the house with light. The girls are excited, they want to help, to hug. He fills the loneliness. He doesn’t give me a chance to be by myself. Busy? To put it mildly.”
Chen is certain that if Igor had lived to see the baby "he would have been delighted. I think he would have really enjoyed him. He didn’t even want a fourth child. He told me: ‘Chen, I don’t have energy to wake up at night anymore.’ But if he were here, he would get up like a champ and even tell me to stay in bed.”
About little Adam she says: “He fills the void, and he also came to teach me to do things alone, without Igor.”
The brit milah ceremony will be held on Wednesday. “It’s a headache, it’s stressful,” she admits, “but friends simply stepped in. One arranged the hall, one the photographer, one the invitations. Everyone took on a task to reduce my load. It’s amazing. It’s wonderful to feel supported like this.”
If you could say something to Igor now, what would it be?
“Without curses?” she laughs for a moment, then stops. “I’d probably try to calm him down. He was probably stressed. Then I’d say to him: ‘You bastard, look what you did to me — I’m at the brit alone.’ And then: ‘Look what a shame you’re not here. Look at what you’re missing.’”
She concludes: “I promise Adam will know who his father was. It won’t come only from me. Everyone will talk about him, mention him. He won’t have to search for information about his dad. It will come to him naturally.”