Bachelor of the week opens up about dating and trust: 'I want her to love me, not my money'

Michael Ben, 39, from Rishon Lezion, says past relationships taught him to recognize women interested only in his money; after leaving the nightlife scene behind, he hopes to find an independent, loving partner who's ready for marriage and children

"I don't talk about how much money I have because a lot of women are only looking for money, and there's always the concern that someone might take advantage of you. I'm attracted to beautiful, well-groomed women who take care of themselves, and those women are usually looking for a financially successful man, which is natural and normal. But when the focus is entirely on my money rather than on me, it's insulting and a turnoff.
"I've been burned before, and I've learned from experience, so I can spot it right away. Having said that, I do believe a man should always be a gentleman and pay. But I've met women who didn't take it for granted and even offered to pay themselves. I think that's a lovely gesture of appreciation that shows they were raised with good values.
בן מייקל
בן מייקל
Michael Ben: 'When the focus is entirely on my money rather than on me, it's insulting and a turnoff'
(Photo: Courtesy)
"I have no problem taking a woman to a restaurant where a meal costs 1,000 shekels, but come with humility and class. I want you to get to know me and fall in love with me for who I am, not for what I have," says Michael Ben, 39, from Rishon Lezion, our Bachelor of the Week.
Michael works as an insurance agent and a driver for a hardware fittings company. He describes himself as an outdoorsy, sociable person who loves being around people. He works out at the gym twice a week, enjoys going to bars and good restaurants, taking walks along the Tel Aviv promenade, relaxing at the beach or simply watching a TV series and unwinding. He also considers himself a home cook and is looking for a partner he can cook for and spoil.

'I stopped working in nightlife because it won't work with a relationship'

"I'm a romantic man. It's important for me to really get to know my partner, understand what's important to her, what she likes, listen to her and put thought into romantic gestures. I've been single for a year and a half, and I really want a relationship. This feels like the right time in my life to find the one because I'm in the best place I've ever been, both personally and financially.
בן מייקל
בן מייקל
'I'm a romantic man. It's important for me to really get to know my partner, understand what's important to her, what she likes'
(Photo: Courtesy)
"I feel mature and ready for marriage and children, and I don't intend to drag things out. I've been through relationships and experiences that brought me to where I am today. I've learned, grown and worked on myself. I understand what I want and what I don't want. I also stopped working in nightlife because I realized it wouldn't work with a relationship."
In what way? "My ex was a homebody, and she didn't like my working hours or the people I was surrounded by, so I realized I needed to make a change. I used to hang out with people from the nightlife scene, going to parties and places where there was a lot of drinking.
"You have to understand that I came from a place where I didn't feel loved. My parents immigrated to Israel and sent me to boarding school when I was very young because they thought it was the best thing for me. But I loved my parents intensely, and I felt that I needed them and wanted to be with them.
"At 16, I left religion behind, became extremely secular and started hanging around on the streets with the wrong crowd. But thank God, I didn't do anything stupid. I've spent a lot of my life alone and have always been very independent. Nobody ever helped me financially, and I've never taken a shekel from anyone.
בן מייקל
בן מייקל
'I've spent a lot of my life alone and have always been very independent'
(Photo: Courtesy)
"When I was 25, I got my act together, found a steady job and entered a relationship. From that point on, everything changed for the better. Today, I feel very loved, and I'm proud of myself. My eyes were opened, and I realized that people in the nightlife scene were stuck in the same place. It was like looking in a mirror at who I used to be, so I decided to slow down."
How do you meet women these days? "I go to restaurants and bars, quieter places where you can meet a nice woman. I've changed for the better, and I'm happy about it. If I meet someone cute, I'll try to start a conversation that feels natural and spontaneous. It's important to me to make her feel good and secure, to show her she has someone she can rely on. I'll probably make her laugh, compliment her and show genuine interest.
"I'm a very energetic, sociable person, and she won't be bored with me for even a second. It's important that she's sociable too and gets along with my family and friends because I love hosting people, having fun and laughing together.
בן מייקל
בן מייקל
'I was once in a relationship that started out perfectly but became obsessive after two years'
(Photo: Courtesy)
"That said, when I'm in a relationship, my friends play a smaller role in my life because my partner comes first. It's also important that she has friends, is independent and has a full life of her own. I was once in a relationship that started out perfectly but became obsessive after two years.
"My ex was extremely dependent on me and wouldn't go anywhere without me. I felt suffocated. We lived together for a year, and the breakup was very difficult for me. After that relationship, I almost lost hope in love. I struggled with low self-esteem and thought something was wrong with me. Today, I understand that I simply haven't met the right woman yet."
What kind of woman are you looking for? "I'm looking for a woman who will treat me like a king because I'll certainly treat her like a queen. I'm a very romantic man, and I have tremendous respect for women because of the religion and values I grew up with.
"It's important to me that she's independent, values and loves herself, has ambitions and motivation, and is always active and looking to grow.
"I'm looking for someone with a connection to religion so we can raise our children with Jewish traditions. I'd like her to come from a good family, be family-oriented and genuinely care about me and our children.
"Physical appearance matters to me. I've tried dating women I wasn't very attracted to, and it didn't work out. Ultimately, the right woman for me will understand me with just a look. We'll have great chemistry and, of course, open communication."
What's your biggest flaw? "I need to have people around me so I don't get bored."
What does true love mean to you? "When you can communicate with your eyes, without needing words or explanations, and when there's mutual appreciation."
Do you believe in love at first sight? "Yes. Sometimes you fall in love from the very first glance."
When was the last time your heart was broken? "A year and a half ago. I ended a relationship with someone I thought was the love of my life. Unfortunately, it wasn't a healthy relationship."
What have your past relationships taught you about yourself? "I always blamed myself and thought something was wrong with me, but today I understand that the right woman simply hasn't come along yet."
What's the most important ingredient in a relationship? "Appreciation, trust and respect."
What hurts your feelings? "Being unappreciated."
In your ideal world, what would your partner be like? "Truly beautiful, not just on the outside but on the inside too. She has charm, a zest for life, lots of love to give and values like trust, respect and reliability."
Smoking? "I'd date a smoker because I smoke too, although not much."
בן מייקל
בן מייקל
A relationship shoul dbe based on 'appreciation, trust and respect'
(Photo: Courtesy)
Preferred age range? "24 and up."
Would you date a divorced woman, including one with children? "Yes, with one child."
What's the worst date you've ever been on? "I went out with a woman, and everything was fine during the drive. But once we got to the restaurant, it all fell apart. I got the impression she was only interested in money and wanted to get as much out of me as possible. It really didn't look good."
Describe your perfect date. "Chemistry, eye contact, smiles and closeness."
Should a man pay on the first date? "Yes, no matter what the circumstances. A man should remain a gentleman and pay. Period."
What do you do in your free time? "Go to the gym, run along the promenade, watch soccer and hang out with the guys."
What's your favorite place, and why? "A bar-restaurant in Rishon Lezion where I go once or twice a week to talk, laugh and unwind."
בן מייקל
בן מייקל
'A man should remain a gentleman and pay on the first date'
(Photo: Courtesy)
What makes you laugh? "People who have no self-awareness."
When was the last time you cried, and why? "This week. I'm very sensitive and cry a lot, even over short videos. Almost anything can make me cry."
How close are you to your family? "I come from a very religious family. We have a good relationship, but we're not especially close. Everyone is busy with their own lives."
Who do you think you were in a past life? "Probably someone who was very self-centered, the complete opposite of who I am today. I believe my purpose in this world is to help people and do good."
What kind of music do you listen to? "Everything, especially Mizrahi music, English-language music and Spanish-language music. Music is medicine for the soul."
What's the last series you binge-watched? "The Pitt."
Tell us something nobody knows about you. "I'm very sensitive and very romantic, but I find it hard to show my emotions or cry in front of other people."
How would your friends describe you? "Someone who stands out, who's interesting, friendly, loves people, loves laughing, enjoys going out and likes making everyone happy."
What do you do on Friday nights? "Make Kiddush with my family, and sometimes meet up with friends."
So where can someone approach you? "Anywhere, but face-to-face is always better because it's much more real and genuine."
Where do you see yourself in 10 years? "With a wife and children, a home of my own, successful, loving life and happy with everything I do."
Are you into Michael? Write to him on Instagram
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