On Saturday, April 6, 2024, at 5:53 p.m., our lives changed beyond recognition.
Our son Reef was killed in a fierce encounter with terrorists, together with three other members of his team. Reef served in the elite Egoz Unit.
The moment I opened the door, after that knock, I understood and decided two things, perhaps without full awareness at the time.
The first thing I said to myself was, “We choose life.”
I did not yet understand, facing the dim expressions of the officers, how hard this choice would be.
The second thing I decided immediately was that Reef would not be forgotten.
In that very second, I knew I would do everything so that my sweet boy would not be forgotten.
Choosing life is first and foremost a decision.
A decision that comes from the deepest, darkest, most painful place a mother and father can face in their lives.
In my view, there is nothing harder than losing a child.
But darkness itself is a choice.
Our true desire to live lights for us, each morning, a small flame that grows brighter throughout the day.
It is work.
It is a personal commitment.
It is not easy.
But it is a choice.
We all realized, our close and extended family, that we must do everything, day after day, to overcome the darkness.
To overcome the difficulty.
For us, even though it is very hard to accept, Reef lives in another place and continues to walk with us through our lives.
Life is stronger than everything, it turns out this is true.
By choosing life, we save ourselves from a deep fall.
We are able to give others light from Reef's light.
Reef, even in his death, continues through us, through our choice of life, to do good for others, just as he did in his life.
Longing is stronger than any pain.
Longing can pull you down, and it can lift you up.
It can move you to action.
Alongside the immense pain, we choose, day after day, to see the light and move forward.
For ourselves.
For our family.
For Reef.
For others.
Happy Chanukah.
By Avi Harush, father of Sgt. Reef Harush, a 20-year-old soldier in the elite Egoz unit killed in combat in Gaza in April 2024.
We came to embrace the darkness is an annual project of the MOSHE Movement – Words that Make a Difference, whose purpose is to raise awareness for suicide prevention through the community.