October 7. Saturday morning. 8:00 a.m. My phone rings. After a long night of Netflix, I am still asleep. I don’t understand who is disturbing my sleep and I don’t answer. I keep sleeping, but the phone does not stop ringing. The sixth or seventh time, I answer.
My mother is on the other end, hysterical. “Turn on the TV right now,” she tells me. “See what’s happening in the south.” My mother knows that Mia went to a party in the south the night before, at 11:00 p.m.
I turn on the television. News reports. Sirens. Rockets. Terrorists. Infiltrations into the kibbutzim near the Gaza border. People screaming for help live on air from their safe rooms. From the moment I wake up, I start calling Mia. Her phone rings and rings, and she doesn’t answer. That is not normal. It has never happened that she goes out and doesn’t answer when I call.
I know she went to the party with Elia Toledano, her best friend. To a party in the south. But I don’t know exactly where. I call Elia. His phone is off.
I am in front of the TV, calling Mia again and again. She doesn’t answer. As the morning goes on, the scale of the event becomes clear. For three hours, I am in a state of stress, worry, and fear.
Chaos.
Confusion.
Report after report. Event after event. My sister calls and tells me that Mia went to the Nova party, and that she was supposed to join her. Suddenly they start talking about terrorists who reached Nova. There may be hostages.
I stop breathing.
I collapse on the floor in front of the TV screen.
One hand pressing on my chest, the other gripping my head, and I whisper out loud: “They kidnapped my daughter. They kidnapped my daughter.” In that moment, all background noise disappears. I feel completely alone, in silence, inside a bubble, while outside of it a violent and deadly storm is raging, one that has swept my daughter away.
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Keren Schem and her family at a news conference during the crisis
(Photo: Motti Kimchi)
Unfortunately, I am used to living in survival mode and daily extreme situations. But nothing in the world can prepare you for this. I found myself facing the greatest fear a mother can experience. A deadly terror attack. Thousands of armed terrorists roaming freely in Israel. Raping, murdering, kidnapping. And my beautiful daughter was caught in this disaster.
Inside that bubble of silence, I feel enormous pain in every part of my body. A sense of terror and helplessness. I beg God to protect my daughter, to protect us. He always has. We have been in dark places for years, but He always protected us. I am certain He will protect us now as well.
I take the dog and my two younger children, get into the car, and drive to my sister, who lives in a nearby moshav. Without even noticing, we set up a home situation room there. Family and friends gathered, and we began searching for Mia.
More in the We Came to Embrace the Darkness project: Iris Haim writes about her son, killed hostage Yotam: 'As long as existence has meaning, you can live on'
251 hostages. An entire country in total chaos. No one functioning. Not the police. Not the government. The army in shock. It took them three weeks to come out of it.
It was clear to me that if I did not do everything to save my daughter, no one would do it for me. And so, without background noise, from inside my bubble of silence, I act. Surrounded by an incredible group of people who operate according to my voice and intuition. I do not deal for a moment with the question “why did this happen to me.” I do not deal with politics, and not with blame. It is completely irrelevant right now. Anyone around me who goes there simply gets in my way, and I move them aside.
Mia was defined as missing for an entire week. But inside, I knew she was alive. I felt that she was alive. I knew exactly with what toolbox she had been kidnapped, and I knew that God was protecting her.
Because she has French citizenship, from the very first moment I understood that the only ones who could help me were the French. Eight people with French citizenship were kidnapped. Dozens were murdered. I gave interviews, held meetings, investigated and spoke publicly nonstop.
The peak was when I flew to France on November 6, 2023, for two days, together with my close friend and right hand, Lior Avnon Pettigrew. There we held extremely significant meetings, the most important of which was with former President Nicolas Sarkozy. I approached him because I knew he is a businessman who works with Qatari businesspeople. Immediately after the meeting, he called the Emir of Qatar and asked for Mia’s release. I achieved my goal, targeted and personal pressure on the Qataris. I went as far as I possibly could.
When I returned to Israel, I continued giving interviews and raising awareness about the hostages everywhere possible. But I knew that from this point on, it was no longer in my hands. All that remained was to hold on to hope and faith.
When the first deal begins and every day a list of released hostages is published, I pressure everyone I know in France to do everything so that Mia will appear on the list. At the very last moment, it happens. Mia is released on the final day, just before Hanukkah, the holiday of miracles. On November 30, 2023.
Thanks to the supportive environment that surrounded me 24/7, family and friends. Thanks to all the miracles that happened to me and to Mia during those two months. Thanks to everyone I met along the insane journey I went through. And above all, because I learned to accept help. I could not have done it alone. I did not give up on faith and hope for even a moment.
Even in the greatest darkness, you must not give up or raise your hands, because miracles happen every day.
Happy holiday.
By Keren Schem, mother of former hostage Mia Shem, who survived her captivity in Gaza and returned after 55 days
We Came to Embrace the Darkness is an annual project of the MOSHE Movement – Words that Make a Difference, whose purpose is to raise awareness for suicide prevention through the community.